Saturday, December 21, 2013

Noah's Ark Movies

Don 'Yer Life Vest!

Have you ever watched a movie that presents the story of Noah's ark? Do you know of the story of the great flood in the Book of Genesis in the Holy Bible, a story that is one of the many sources of great controversy to be found in the Bible? If you do not know of this story simply go and get a Bible and read it. Then when you are done read it again and consider the ideas and points and assertions put forth. Do you think there is anything in the biblical account of the flood that shows or lends any kind of credibility whatsoever? Do you think that part of what faith is is taking this story literally and in its entirety to be wholly true? Does everything about the story make sense? Does it have to make sense?

Here we are going to take a peek at some of the movies that have been made about this flood story. Some of the films are interesting. Some are pretty bland. Some seem to add a whole bunch of stuff that isn't in the Bible. In fact, there is really not much about the whole process Noah and his family supposedly went through and thus the majority of the dialogue and even scenes in these movies are completely dreamed up outside the delusion of the Bible. Are you surprised?

Here we have Jon Voight taking the role of Noah and, frankly speaking, doing an absolutely horrible job of it. Yikes. The music is pretty cheesy as well. I want to know where the information about the storm that blew through town and damaged everyone's stuff but Noah's stuff and the people were questioning Noah's wife about it came from. Do you have any ideas? None of that is in the Bible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyto_Etw80A&list=PL0F4119F3375374F2


Hey, kids! Pull up a chair and listen to a story about how a mighty God validates and gives excuses as to how it is okay to murder oodles of people because they aren't doing what HE wants, not choosing what HE would choose, not giving HIM enough glory, and not pleasing HIM. You may read along in your Bible. You will know it is time to turn the page when you hear a mighty clap of thunder and are struck by lightning.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IokCeM7lOE


This movie had better be as good as it looks, right? And it CAN be a good movie, but that does not make one shred of it true. Lord of the Rings is a fabulous movie, yes. But that does not make it true, does it? And the greatness of the movie does not make it historical either. Sooo...you folks out there who truly believe this story as THE indelible truth and who may think this movie lends credibility to such delusions...well...you are out of luck as well as out of your minds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctCGA0VVaak

Would you please tell me how in the hell the grizzly bear was transported to Noah's ark? The snow leopards? The burros? The snakes? How fast is a snake and how long can they travel before they get tired and need a rest? How long would it take a snake to go from, say, Australia to where Noah was? What would they use for water transportation? What about the tarantulas? How long would it take for a tarantula to travel from wherever they were, say...the American Southwest, to Noah? Would they hail a water taxi?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=049hWhWWvvY


This is more of a documentary style presentation. Quite inventive with the presentation and interpretation of some things, but are you surprised? The Bible says, the Bible says, the Bible says. Well, so does Hans Christian Andersen, and that Grimm's Fairy Tales guy. Do you realize that here they present the story of Noah being drunk as happening before the flood when it actually occurred afterwards? They totally make it sound like it happened BEFORE the flood. Why would they do that, what was their motive?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZu3GXoKXU4


How is it that Walt Disney can make something to horrific look so silly and fun? The guy was a genius! Imagine if he did a film about the bubonic plague. BUT in this version of the story God only gives Noah SEVEN days to build the ark. Yikes. That isn't gonna happen. Of course, that really doesn't matter since the Bible says it took 120 years for Noah to build the ark.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VlT6qF4EXw


I added this link really only because I thought the title of the video as "Best Bible Stories for Kids" was simply beyond laughable, delusional, and quite sickening.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfPmjOkKm7A

Haahaah!!! The little people look like the marshmallow peeps they sell for Easter. The animals in the casserole dish in the tub is great!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDkeISt_0ew


Ms. Glenn puts things quite succinctly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=png3L-a3qnM


http://www.amazon.com/Turkey-Broth-Spirit-Questions-Pentateuch-ebook/dp/B00GVLQ0CY/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1387675546&sr=8-5&keywords=ester+lighthorse

http://www.amazon.com/Turkey-Broth-Spirit-And-Said-ebook/dp/B0090NKCJW/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1387675546&sr=8-3&keywords=ester+lighthorse

http://www.zazzle.com/smartytwoshoes

http://justlivingbyfaith.blogspot.com/

http://shoon4774-thegreatestlieevertold.blogspot.com/

http://toleratingaggressivereligioushumor.blogspot.com/